


When Did You

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death, Redeemed Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, very very small mention though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28382721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: When did Ben and Poe know they loved each other?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	When Did You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Saklani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For Saklani. Sorry it took so long!

“When did you first know you loved me?”

Poe’s lying in bed beside Ben — it still feels odd having that name back. Ben still doesn’t know if he’s a Ben or a Kylo. Maybe he’s neither, or in between — and Ben can feel his warmth against his body. His comfort.

”Mmmm...where do I begin?” Ben says. “Probably before I knew that feeling had a name.” Yeah, that sounds about right, now that he thinks about it. “You were one of the first faces that I saw, one of the first people I remember. I can’t picture a time when you weren’t in my life somehow.”

That’s true. He remembers sunlit days, picnics, vacations, play dates — Poe was just there, for all of them. He was just there, a natural part of the proceedings. Cheerful, kind, bouncy, full of the effortless sort of hope and belief that Ben knows, even now, that he doesn’t deserve. 

“I was too young to know that it had a name,” Ben says. “But it was like when you were near me...when you were near me, the voices in my head didn’t seem so bad.”

”Ben...”

”It’s not your fault,” Ben says. "The fact you were able to do that at all...it is amazing. And I wanted to do the same for you. To make you the happiest you’d ever been.”

Even when he was only five, and wondering if there was a way to resurrect Shara Bey so Poe wouldn’t be sad anymore. 

“I definitely knew it when you came back from Kijimi,” Ben says, smiling. “When you took an officer who thought you were guilty by association and spared her life. Tried to save her again. You showed a level of kindness that I could never achieve. And it was one of the reasons I loved you. Still love you.” A hand, resting on Poe’s heart. "Do you know how rare it is, to have a heart like yours?”

”Ben, you — ”

”I know.” Saving Rey...it had only been thanks to Leia’s sacrifice that it hadn’t killed him. Giving her life force to him. The last thing a mother could do for her son. “But yours...I can’t put my finger on it, other than the fact that it’s different. It’s purer. Do you know how rare it is, to find someone so kind? Too rare. You’re not perfect. But you’re a good person. I love you just for that.”

Ben can feel Poe’s breathing hitch. Then, “It sounds selfish,” Poe said, “But when you believed in me, I loved you then.”

”I believe in you because I love you.”

”Same here. It took...a while for me to get the message. To get a clue, so to speak.”

Ben laughs, fondly. It feels good to laugh with someone. Poe grins — and Ben swears he will do anything to tease that smile out of Poe again. And again, and again. 

“I love you,” Ben says. “And there’s so much I want to tell you. To show you. I promise that I won’t let you go without knowing my love. Ever."

”Yeah.” Poe beams. "I won’t let you go without knowing either, Ben.”


End file.
